What did it not say

We just had an all-hands where the VP of our organization mentioned one of the things that have helped him a lot. He said that when reading a contract, pay attention to what is said but pay more attention to what is not said. Because what is said is largely written up to cover what is not said.

That's a good litmus test for life situations. I think one in a while, it's a good idea to think about what's not said. Now, in a normal context, that would mean a wild goose chase because what is no said comprises the universal set and you need some filtering to really make any sense out of it. So, when dealing with people in personal or professional contexts, think about the big concerns you have about them and then see what's being said in your interactions and if all your concerns are being addressed. If the other person has been evasive about something that concerns you, may be it's time to have a conversation about it. Go in for the conversation with a quiet mind and a good ear to listen well,

Of kindness and courage

There are certain things I have come to realize over the past few months I have spent at home. First, it's difficult to care and love. It takes effort but if you can do that it makes you happy and improves your life. So, even when everything around seems hazy and uncertain, if you can have good intentions and keep doing things, you will be fine. Just believe in yourself and that you are capable of loving and worthy of love and connection. As Gary Zukav says in his book, it's not possible for anything in the universe to be unloved and unconnected. This also reminds me of what Cinderella's mom says to her in the Disney movie on her death bed - be kind and courageous. And the first step is to start with being kind to yourself.

Pause and observe

The last I appeared here, I was planning a party and cooking meals for 20-30 people. It was a good time. It was a good time. I loved my work, was really making progress with my running (6 miles a day....not bad....ehhh) and had good friends. I was also starting to realize things about myself. What makes me happy, what are my insecurities and complexes and so on. Then, in the month of July, it all came to a break and I had to shift base for reasons outside my control. I have a hypothesis that when I refuse to learn a lesson that life tries to teach me the first time, I get another opportunity to learn it again.

Last year during the summer, I was frustrated because I couldn't join work for a long time. I didn't focus on the beautiful city around me. So, this year I had to take a break from work and move back home. I guess this is the opportunity to learn myself and try to become what I have always aspired for. There are small things that I always aspired for but never really did them because I was lazy.  Now is the perfect opportunity to get those straight.

I also will be making travel plans for when I go back. The plan is to go backpacking through Europe. Yaay!

Men vs Women as party guests

Before I start writing the blogpost, I just want to send out the disclaimer that I am not a big fan of the Sheryl Sandberg school of Lean-In feminism. I do believe that women don't need to start behaving like men to make a mark for themselves. Or may be they do. May be all SS says is that IF you want to break the glass ceiling, watch out for these things that might be keeping you from attaining your goals. No matter, what the suggestion course of action for women is, I do believe that there is a marked difference in the way men and women perceive the world around them. No I am going in the broad sweeping generalization territory but men seem to come from a position of entitlement in most situations.

Now, coming back to the real point. I recently had a party and invited a bunch of my friends- men and women. It was a pretty homogeneous mix of MBA graduates working for big firms in their late twenties or early thirties. Most of them had were related to me by a shared workplace or grad school. So, I send out this invite announcing that I will be cooking. I heard from most women I invited asking whether I need any help from them. I heard from very few men and the only thing they asked about was whether I will have the live streaming for India vs South Africa world cup cricket match. You see the difference. Women felt grateful that someone was going to spend a day preparing for a party for them. Men took it as a given and wanted to know if they can enjoy the match or not. I do understand that men are more ardent fans of sports. But these guys didn't suggest the TV streaming as a solution they can help with. They didn't ask whether I would have a TV that accepted HDMI inputs. They just wanted to know if they can watch their match or why else would they waste their time. I know I am being a little harsh here but if you boil the reality to bare bones, harsh is what it sounds like.

Some action after long

Well, my work life and my personal life has been eventful this past year and I feel that I need to re-kindle my blog to share some awesome experiences from the beautiful city of Seattle. I will be doing an audit of the year 2014.

For now, I just want to rave about how much awesome food the city has got to offer. Am I loving it.....hell yeah!!

New characters who are here to stay

It's been long since I made a post about people I hang out a lot with me. I have moved to a new city and have settled down in a building with two of my classmates residing in the same building. As is understandable, proximity and boredom throw us together pretty often in the sit-comishly comic yet mundane continuum of our lives.  There is a couple and an on-the-hunt bachelor and all four of us have very strong views on small and big things in life. This leads to a lot of funny and wise exchanges which, at times, leave me wondering how interesting things can come out of the most uninteresting things. What keeps us going is a good amount of respect (which I find highly suspect at times) and a good amount of tolerance for each others' foibles.

Now I know why I don't like the too nice ones

I just recently read this article and was happily relieved because it helped me realize what is it that bugs me about the too happy people. I have always found that people who are too nice also have this streak of complying and falling in which used to get on my nerves because I can always sense it but never quite put my ginger on it. It is an extension of the Milgram experiment which went on and looked at the people who were willing to shock others when told to do so.

Here is what the researchers found-
People who were normally friendly followed orders because they didn't want to upset others, while those who were described as unfriendly stuck up for themselves.

"The irony is that a personality disposition normally seen as antisocial — disagreeableness — may actually be linked to 'pro-social' behavior,'" writes Psychology Today's Kenneth Worthy. "This connection seems to arise from a willingness to sacrifice one's popularity a bit to act in a moral and just way toward other people, animals or the environment at large. Popularity, in the end, may be more a sign of social graces and perhaps a desire to fit in than any kind of moral superiority."